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See all those markings, it's DISGUSTING!!!

Adam L. more commonly referred to as A-Loser, is an alleged alien vermin disguising itself as an uglyass hideous human, trying to sing in a band of shitsticks known as M5.  

Even under his disguise, this thing still looks like a wreck and a typical bum that hangs out slumped over the counter in some sleazy bar.  

Life as a Human 

Third only to the horrendous turds known as Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, L. is one of the most untalented, crappiest, and annoying singers on this Earth. To warm up his vocals, he supposedly gets kicked in the crotch and gets his skull smashed with a sledgehammer... repeatedly. He sings with the voice of a castrated eunuch mixed with a hairless cat being strangled to death while taking a shit on the rug. His body is littered with strange repulsive markings reportedly from an extraterrestrial civilization. While L. is quite good at blending in with common people, he finds himself troubled when beautiful naked men appear before him because allegedly it expands his dong.  

Alleged Crimes and Health Issues

L. is allegedly obsessed with "appearing naked all the time", because he admits he is "sexually promiscuous" to men. 

L. was supposedly arrested in 2009 for allegedly doing cocaine and smoking weed every day.

Nobody wants to see or hear this bastard sing...

L. being a horny pervert. Looks like something out of a porno.

His ego is apparently as high as Mt. Everest while his actual abilities are buried six feet under.  

Both Sandy Cheeks and detective Nancy Drew claim that L. has AIDS. 

When L. cannot find a man to love, he allegedly enjoys fucking random bitches. Yes, there might be a part of him that is bisexual.

L. Adam seducing a random bitch...

Love Interests

  • May: Though May is often called a "dirty skank" by the community, L. genuinely seems to be attracted to her, as he supposedly masturbates everytime he talks to her. 
  • Blissey: L. had an egg with this Pokémon. 
  • Kitara: Despite her terrible performance in The Last Airbender, L. did like her acting. 
  • Blake Shelton: Though this is largely unconfirmed, L. has allegedly been accused of sharing "intimate" moments with this country singer on The Voice. 


  • Justin Bieber (We can't blame him for this)
  • Miley Cyrus (She even more appalling than L.!)
  • Adam9812 - Adam9812 is embarrassed to share a name with him
  • Dr. Rabbit
  • Konata Izumi (she hates men) 
  • Mr. Krabs (He is too cheap to buy a radio) 
  • Squidward
  • Ong (Tried to steal Kitara from him, though was so emotionless that nobody could tell he tried)
  • Howie Mandel
  • Lady Gaga
  • Britney Spears
  • Toon Link 
  • Fat Mario 
  • Giygas 
  • Shrek
  • Miu Gaigai 
  • Slowking - Adam L. is even slower than Slowking.