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"I'm Batman!"
– Batman


Batman (Bruce Wayne) is a famous hero born in Gotham City, known for his penchant for dressing up in uniform black leather wrapped mimicking (not too well) the appearance of a bat, and whose secret identity was Bruce John Wayne (as the famous actor western movies and who knows what the fuck they translate into Spanish as "Bruno Díaz").


His origins date back to a family movie night, when the Wayne family goes to see The Mask of Zorro in black and white (it was a Hipster movie). On leaving the cinema Bruce's father would think of the brilliant idea to take the path that goes through the alley crime because surely would not happen anything wrong and then they are attacked by an evil thief who saw pay 3 bags of popcorn and 3 sodas, which in his eyes made ​​them look like a stunning billionaires (to go they were), but the offender was a package and ended up killing the boy's parents Bruce and on top of not wearing anything. This episode marked him for life and had sworn revenge (making him the only avenger, and that is DC) through justice.

His first attempt was to buy superpowers but seeing it was impossible at that time, so Bruce decided to travel the world to find Hyrule and train in martial arts with Gwonam and other masters, strengthen his mind and become a genius of science (paid a psychiatrist? Better to live with trauma to be more effective). Returning to Gotham City finds a mess being swamped by corruption, the mafia and the occasional gypsy cursing, though none of them represented a major problem, not just kicked out to most but becomes an ally the new police captain James Gordon (Sirius Black) that creates the famous bat signal (a lamp with a paper).


As he struggled in all parts of the world like Hyrule, Batman learned to fight and is pretty good in the masturbation. He completed a successful amateur career detectives at the University of Massachusetts. Can use disguises to fool their enemies (or jealous husbands). Also is half ninja and likes scaring people walking at night, either appearing suddenly, jumping over or breaking windows.

Batman is also a member of the Justice League, but does not like to mess with other superheros and rather like to work alone in Gotham City. League what they wanted to take several times, but they do not because they do not want to be accused of discriminating against autistic.


  • His face
  • Your face being fisted
  • Kicking Lex Luthor's ass
  • Punch people with no apparent reason
  • My Little Pony
  • This Channel
  • Beating up the Joker
  • Plowing Catwoman


  • Idiots
  • Villains
  • The Joker
  • People saying stupid ideas
  • Killing Sea-bears
  • Giygas


  • At the place where he lives is called Batman Bat-cave. He is left under the Bat-mansion. Sometimes when going for Bat-drinks on the mansion is under Bat-repair, usually stay overnight at their Bat-penthouse remaining in the Bat-city center.
  • Batman has been regarded as "The best detective in the world", so much so that once Sherlock Holmes sucked Batman's dick on the street and asked for an autograph shivering with excitement.
  • Scientists specializing in the subject believe him also has hypnotic powers, as Batman can make Alfred must work twice throughout his life, paying the minimum wage and a helping of overly small meal.
  • He has had a hard life almost more than Solid Snake, but has managed to succeed with dignity and without having to dress up animal.


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