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Big Bird is a character on the TV show Sesame Street. Fans of Big Bird go under the fandom name of Big Bird's Bitches. The famed Pipsqueak Pioneer, known as Nikolai, is obsessed with the bird and would murder his own friends to please him.


Big Bird was once an orphan baby bird who lost his family during migration and was taken in by a mad scientist who experiments with animals and humans. He then switches the bird's brain with the brain of an orphan. The bird then grows higher than his normal size and starts to speak English. His feathers start turning yellow as his orphan brain starts infusing with his body. He then "moves" to a new location code named "Sesame Street" where he meets new friends and now lives in a hut in the alley.

Rise to insanity, addiction, and death

After a year since he moved, Big Bird started to constantly feel a twitch as his childlike brain started to grow. He also smoked meth and that made him twitch more. He usually climbed up buildings, ate meat all the time and started laying eggs on people. Big Bird also suffered something of a midlife crisis in which he purchased a boat and was rather fond of using little boys as sponges to clean his boat. The critics of Sesame Street complained and forced Big Bird to sell his boat and kicked him off the television show, which led to severe alcoholism.

Elmo tried to calm him down but he skinned him alive! He started going crazy killing everyone on the street. He then threw Stinky the Plant into the sewers because of his sarcasm where he'll die in the sewage.

Big Bird was captured by the Environmental Protection Agency and it turned out that the one who found him when he was a chick was working for the EPA. After an experiment, he was thrown into a giant blender as part of a giant smoothie to feed the homeless. (Recognize anything? See Sid the Science Kid and Super Why)