Elmo is one of the most famous characters from Sesame Street. He was originally going to be in a godzilla movie but was cut. He's the last survivor of his species (like Yoda). He was the main founder of the Sesame Street Gang and ruled Sesame Street as a drug kingpin, until being toppled by Weegee.
Elmo, (not to be confused with Elko, Hellmo & Dolph Ziggler), originally named Elmore J. Hitler (not to be confused with Adolf Hitler), was raised in this Atlantic North-east by a wealthy family of rabid politicians in suites. After completing high school, Elmore left home to attend the University of Psychedelics in Brooklyn. Elmore showed an early aptitude for learning, and he began to truly come into his own intellectually in college. Unfortunately, college also opened Elmore's eyes to the dark nature of reality, and he became cold, stupid, and cynical. He began to slowly grow hateful and withdrawn, and turned to the natural escapes of the oppressed mind; opiates, and in their most synthesized form. He eventually gave up all hope on life, and attempted to go the way of the great artists, and die by his own hand. In his failure, he realized that he needed help, and he enrolled himself in a mental study facility. This place turned out to be a top secret government testing facility hidden in the middle of Detroit, known by the code name "Sesame Street". Through arduous years of genetic mutations and governmental "reprogramming" so to speak, Elmore was turned into "Elmo", a smiling simpleton and a form of Emo, subsisting only to aid the cause. Also, Elmo's fur was originally white but, it wasn't until after he went to a Slayer concert where it Rained people's blood. People that had committed suicide. This stained Elmo for life. It scarred him too, but it stained Elmo more. It was from this he started up the band "Staind" (Note: Elmo can't spell). "Saint" Elmo needs to be put on FIRE.
After a brief stay as the lead guitarist for "Staind" Elmo had a legendary fight with fellow band member, and lead vocalist for "Staind," Marceline the vampire queen in which an affair between the two was released to the public. Marceline's finalized the argument with a final stab at Elmo. She is quoted as trying to say, "I faked everyone one." Elmo retorted with, "I didn't even know when you did have one you maoning bitch."
Shortly after the feud Marceline released a sex tape which is still poular today, in which Elmo can be seen giving Colonel Sander's a visit.(If you catch my drift) Marceline was seen on the receiving end moaning with her left hand. Elmo departed back into an apartment in New York City after the release of the video and denied to give a comment to the press. His life was in ruins and no company would hire him after his fiasco with Marceline and his bloodbath murders (like the infamous Sesame Street Gang murders).
Elmo began to study Time Travel on Wikipedia and soon befriended fellow scientist Oscar Wilde whom, along with Elmo, invented a Time Machine. Elmo was the first semi-intelligent being to travel through time. His destination, the Old South. Elmo returned to some undetermined year in the Southern portion of the young United States. After staying there for what he claimed to have been two years, Elmo returned in the Time Machine with which he had gone to the Old South to five secondsafter his departure time. Wilde, at first, thought the expirement had failed, but upon questioning Elmo procured this story and published it on Wikipedia.
The article was immediately taken down for being fictional, but not before a few hands found it upon the evil, satan following Wikipedia. In the article Wilde tells of Elmo's journey and describes the plantation that Elmo had established. It had become the largest cotton producing Plantation in the South.
On a side note: Some speculators speculate that Elmo was the inventor of the Cotton Gin and that is why his plantation was the most productive. Because of this it is believed that Elmo traveled to the 1790s and Eli Whitney is believed to be a freed slave of Elmo's who stole the invention and procured it as his own.
After returning to the present day, Elmo sought out help from long time companion and sub Ernie. The flaming homo-sexual was not the person Elmo originally inteded to bring back to the 1790s, Elmo's original choice was Richard Simmons, but the flaming homosexuality of Ernie was a close second. Elmo returned to his southern plantation with Ernie, and therehe subjugated him to hard labor and, some speculate, as his personal Sex slave. It is unknown whetere Elmo was gay, but there is an old photograph of what is believed to be Elmo "riding" Ernie.(RIGHT) The Picture is from an old Southern encyclopedia trying to explain slavery.
Elmo's sexuality has always been in question. After his heterosexual fling with Marceline, Elmo seems to have become homosexual or at least bisexual. He never again had a female sex partner after Marceline, and one of his most infamous sex partners after her was Ernie. Bert was furious.
It was rumored that Elmo left a message for Gonzo and Fozzie saying that "Elmo is going to fucking kill you, bitch!". Elmo was then discovered by a gay man named Drew Pickles who raped him. Elmo was then severely raped by other members of The Barney Bunch, Drew's secret homosexual group. Elmo was even killed then resurrected several times over the course of his Barney Bunch experience. He provided weed to Kermit the Frog.
Failed Death Attempts
Eventually, one day, Big Bird had a twitch. So Elmo tried calming him down, but he was skinned alive by the rabid bird and then shot in the heart. But it was his spirit that called the EPA and got one last laugh. A laugh that would form the beginning of Popped Culture, YouTube Poop's worst enemy.
No matter what you do, Elmo won't die. If you try to kill him, he will re-spawn back to his re-spawning location which is Elmo's World.
- His fish Dorothy
- Mr. Noodle
- His crayon
- Big Bird
- Cookie Monster
- Bert & Ernie
- AFL (Sometime)
- Raping Children
- The Sesame Street Gang
- Thrash metal
- Marceline (formerly)