|Joker (Call of Duty)|
Joker (hereby named via the acronym: Juicy Oiled-up King of Extreme Rollerblading) is said to be one of the most dangerous liabilities that still live and breathe to this day. He was known for being a soldier of The Atlas Corporation, under the direct command of company CEO and President, Jonathan Irons.
""CLEAR THE ROORETHRELEAUEAUGHTH""
– - Joker
During the infamous Royston Vasey Nose-Bleed epidemic of the year 2000, A ten year old child was seen wandering the hillside having gone through a significant traumatic experience which he personally associates with a passing Pandemonium Carnival.
He was found by a dashing pale faced man wearing a purple pinstripe outfit who appeared to have an obsession with purple fruit. 10 Minutes later, he was safely returned to his country house via trebuchet, which unfortunately resulted in his home being burnt down.
FAME AND GLORY
Since his early experience with fire, Joker had become obsessed with all forms of fire and combustion. Making even the Pyro envious of his fascination.
During the seventeen year shooting of the not-so-epic YTP "Fascinating Moo", Joker had, at last, a chance to prove his love and dedication to the art of Pyromania. He instantly became a cult idol with his Threat Grenade speech to co-star Troy Baker (played by Jack Mitchell, as played by Troy Baker). Though questioned heavily about trying to out-rant Christian Bale, Joker became an inspiring and shining example of humankind, and was envied throughout the land of Murica (and feared greatly by Trevor Philips Enterprises)
During one of Princess Luna's most well known mardi gras events where Jonathan Irons allegedly got to meet the president for the first time (though he refuses to comment on this event because POWER), One of Joker's stray fireworks hit Pyro across the head. Love blossomed instantly and the two fought alongside each other in Vietnam hand-in-hand for their honeymoon.
It was not revealed until several years later in the distant future of October 21, 2015, that Joker did actually shot P.O.T.U.S.P.E.N.C.E.R.H.E.R.E on the set of "Fascinating Moo". Devastated by the fact that his idol, The President, was presumed dead, Jonathan Irons vowed for revenge. Joker and Pyro were staying at Frank Woods' caravan just south of the Hyrule border when Jonathan Irons arrived in his Optimus Prime Cos-Play, complete with an Atari 2600 Controller and Voice Actor Peter Cullen Strapped to his back.
After blowing up John McClane's Caravan by accident, A raging conflict ensued for seventeen seconds before all that remained of Frank Woods' caravan was rubble. Unknowingly, Jonathan Irons did Jeremy Clarkson proud...
Fortunately, mastering the art of Grenade-Fu, Joker used his expertly timed anal gas to escape from the wreckage, whilst Frank Woods took a rocket to the face without flinching (YOU JUST CAN KILL FRANK WOODS). But the same could not be said for Pyro, who shared one last muffled mumble with Joker before dying in his arms... and disconnecting from the server to go to bed. Unknowing that Pyro is still alive, Joker met up with Gideon and embraced Beanieism. He fights against Nikolaism to this day, setting light to vodka factories and hoping to find his lost love on the battlefield...
- Lamp Oil
- Frank Woods
- Clearing the Room
- CLEARING THE ROORETHRELEAUEAUGHTH
- Smoke Grenades
- Cluster Grenades
- Threat Grenades
- Plasma Grenades
- Laser Grenades
- Emp Grenades
- Imp Grenades
- Mohawk Grenades
- The game 'Bulletstorm'
- Every game made by Epic Games
- 'Mad Max'
- Banana Bombs
- 'Hot Fuzz'
- 'Bad Boys 2'
- The 'Sharknado' Trilogy
- Getting into position.
- Tossing Grenades
- Atom Bombs
- 'Atom Bomb Baby' - The Five Stars
- Michael Bay + his entire collection of films.
- Mooing (yeah, don't ask)
- Blowing sh*t up
- Shooting P.O.T.U.S.P.E.N.C.E.R.H.E.R.E
- Jonathan Irons
- The Atlas Corporation
- Being mistaken by name for the clown prince of crime
- Royston Vasey
- YOU USED THE WRONG DAMN GRENADE!
- Jack Mitchell (for using the wrong damn grenade)
- Not knowing the full name of who found him when he was ten.
- Transformers 4 not being nominated for an Academy Award.
- How his acronym name doesn't actually mean he's good at rollerblading.
- Having to resort to standard firearms.
- Throwing potatoes into each of those marked target areas