|KRUSTY KUNT WHOREHOUSE TRAINING VIDEO|
June 9, 2019
KRUSTY KUNT WHOREHOUSE TRAINING VIDEO is a YouTube Poop created by Umbra Lupin as a 1,000 subscriber special. It was uploaded on June 9, 2019.
Instructional spoof episode of everything about the Krusty Kunt Whorehouse.
For every new Krusty Kunt employee, the goal is to have sex with Squidward Tentacles. However, after SpongeBob asks if he can have sex now, the narrator tells him that he must learn everything in this video.
1: From Humble Beginnings
Eugene H. Krabs, from his childhood to his post-war years, has always suffered from depression.
His apt business sense leads to him converting a retirement home into the whorehouse one may know as the Krusty Kunt.
2: The Krusty Krab Today
With the number of technological breakthroughs involved with today's whorehouse, a new worker can quickly become overwhelmed. Thankfully, SpongeBob is ready and willing to guide the way to being a good employee, while the less thoroughly prepared employee, tentatively called Squidward, will provide a clear example of what not to be.
For a new employee ignorant of what the customer has come to expect from their Krusty Kunt sex experience, learning the meaning of COCK (Customers Order Crusty Kunts) will help.
4: Personal Hygiene
The requirements for both cleanliness and personal appearance that an employee is obligated to adhere to are stringent. With diligence and enough soap, however, any employee can learn how to enter each new shift as clean as they can.
5: Your Work Station
Keeping the cooking and service areas clear of detritus is also very important, and while SpongeBob illustrates how to maintain his erection, Squidward demonstrates the trouble a poorly-kept station leads to.
6: Interfacing With Your Boss
One should never fear to ask the proprietor for a raise because the answer will always be the same. This section also covers interacting with the equally-important "Testicle Sucker" for optimally profitable results.
7: Emergency Situation
In the event of attempted theft, especially by one Sheldon J. Plankton, this section explains the protocol for protecting a Krabby Patty in peril. The narrator also checks on Squidward who suggests Patrick to have sex with him.
Once these lessons have been grilled to perfection into the new employee's brain, he or she shall be ready to receive the secret and sacred method of preparing a YouTube Poop.
- Painty the Pirate: Are you ready kids?
- Kids: Aye Aye, Captain!
- Painty the Pirate: (screams)
- Narrator: You may think that Mr. Eugene H. Krabs, owner and founder of Krusty Kunt, Inc., has always been the bankrupted wizard he is today. And you're wrong!
- Mr Krabs: And most importantly, you get your state-of-the-art condoms.
- Narrator: Once you understand COCK, you'll understand your place at the Krusty Kunt. But what does COCK mean? Watch closely. Customers Order Crusty Kunts.
- Narrator: After making sure your face is neat and tidy. Now that's thorough! You are ready to start the day.
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, can I have a raise?
- Mr. Krabs: No.
- Narrator: Good job, Mr. SquareAss.
- Patrick: Is right, Squidward. You're not a very sexy employee.
- Narrator: Now that we've covered all the basics of your training, it's time for the moment you've been waiting for! At the center of every great dynasty is the crown jewel, which keeps it alive and thriving. For the YouTuber, this is the subscriber. And now you will learn the sacred and dark secrets of how to prepare the YouTube Poop videos.
- This video is considered by some as Umbra Lupin's most inappropriate YTP video in his career.