"HE HAS NO EYES WITH WHICH TO SEE, HIS EVERY WAKING MOMENT IS MISERY, HE HAS NO MOUTH AND HE WANTS TO SCREAM, HE ONLY WISHES IT WERE ALL A DREAM, NOW HE WANTS FOR YOU TO SHARE HIS ANGUISH, ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS WILL BE VANQUISHED....(reality starts to tear apart itself slowly)"
– Lanky, The Twisted One
Lanky Kong (also known as HE if you are the king of rapper or some shitty singer) is a rubber orangutan who has a powers of Devil Fruit called Gomu Gomu no Mi which the user allow user to stretch their own body.
Lanky Kong was one of the main playable characters in Donkey Kong 64, where HE was one of the four Kongs captured and later rescued throughout the game.
After a 8-year absence, HE makes a return in the series in Donkey Kong Barrel Blast, where Lanky was a unlockable character in the game. It's about fucking time!
However, time passed and Lanky became twisted and evil after realizing how useless and mocked he was in the franchise. After becoming a meme, he expected to become part of the smash universe, but when he found out he was just put as a trophy...HE didn't take it well...
"HE HAS ASCENDED! YOU HAVE NO HOPE! GOD CANNOT SAVE YOU! RUN!"
Those were the words said by the witnesses of Lanky's terrible ascension, who are now possibly facing a fate worse than death after failing to escape Lanky's wrath.
- Before ascending: HE can stretch his arms out, and inflate himself like a balloon. (Just listen to the DK Rap!)
- After ascending: THIS CRAZY KONG IS GONNA CUT YOUR BUTT OFF. IT'S GONNA HURT. BLOOD IS GONNA SPURT. YOU WILL WANT TO DIE. THIS KONG'S...ONE FUCK OF A GUY (Lanky then releases his true power which is beyond human intellect).
- Donkey Kong
- Diddy Kong
- Tiny Kong
- Chunky Kong
- Death and destruction
- Cutting butts
- Blood spurting
- Sharing his anguish with people
- Vanquishing your hopes and dreams
- Monkey D. Luffy
- King K. Rool
- Those who made fun of him
- Not appearing in a new game.
- The neighbor who always asks for water for his flowers while wearing a cleavage
- Olaf (Rival)
- He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong has a funny face. He can handstand when he needs to, and stretch his arms out, just for you. Inflate himself just like a balloon. This crazy Kong just digs this tune!
- Cranky Kong says that HE is a "twisted twig on a distant branch of the family tree".
- A tribute the funny-faced Kong we love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hcb3Ry5hEQ8