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Farquaad is disturbed by your failure.

Lord Farquaad is the mortal enemy of Shrek and all the fairy tale characters. Farquaad is so far, the most weak and puny being in all the existence known.


Farquaad is known for being the fucking loser who got eaten by a badass dragon, though some people recognize him for being a dumbass who at least created his own version of his archenemy, Drek whom he would give his secrets and feelings (and with feelings, we refer sex).

Farquaad destroyed an entire civilization in Murica and he succeeded in becoming one of the presidents of the nation. As we heard, now we know why Murica is so retarded, it's because Farquaad's reign of non existent force, leaving through kids' windows after raping them and make you believe that Shrek is Dreck.

Farquaad is love, Farquaad is life

I was only 40 years old

I hated Shrek so much, I refused to buy any of the movies and merchandise.

I prayed to Farquaad every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given

Farquaad is love, I say, Farquaad is life.

My son hears me and calls me a cunt.

I knew he was brainwashed into blind devotion for Shrek

I call him a faggot

I slap him and send him to go to sleep

He's crying now, and his face probably hurts

I go to bed

I lay in bed and it's really cold

Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me

It's Shrek

I am so scared

He whispers in my ear "Check yourself before you Shrek yourself"

He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on knees

I fear for my life

He whips out his cock

Suddenly, Farquaad jumps in through the window

Farquaad grabs his neck and rips his head off

My son walks in

Farquaad looks him straight in the eye and says "Shrek is Dreck"

Farquaad leaves through my window

Farquaad is love, Farquaad is life.


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