Peach's taking a selfie, just look at those dick-sucking lips!

Princess Peach
Full Name
Background Information
Status Currently kidnapped, not big surprise!
Alignment Chaotic Neutral
Source Super Mario Bros.
Sexual Orientation Straight
Physical Description
Species Saiyan, Human (formerly)
Gender Female
Age 22
Hair Color
Fur Color
Feather Color
Eye Color
Breast Size
Power Level
Date Joined
Princess Peach (born May 3, 1983 age 35) is the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom and Mario's slut. She has been kidnapped several times with Mario saving her ass nearly every time.


Princess Peach has medium-length blond hair and blue eyes. She dyed her hair brown but stopped for whatever reason. There was once a theory she went super saiyan, most people rejected this theory they hated Jesus because He told them the truth, and it turned out to be true later. She's usually seen wearing a pink ballgown dress with a blue jewel on her breast as well as a crown.


Princess Peach, despite keeping the title of princess, is the totalitarian leader of the Mushroom Kingdom. In spite of or because of this, Peach is often kidnapped by Bowser who seems to have little interest in killing her for some reason, though he did try to marry her on more than one occasion. As of 2010, she had been kidnapped about 125 times, though this number is now much greater.

She married Mario in the year 2003, but in 2011, she demanded a divorce after he allegedly cheated on her, though this makes her a massive hypocrite because she's given birth to six children that aren't his. On that topic, during one of her pregnancies (that cannot be confirmed as Mario's child or Luigi's child due to the genealogist performing the DNA test while drunk), she was accidentally sent 20 years into the past (circa 1984) by Mario. Mario went to rescue her but found she had already given birth to Rosalina and subsequently put her up for adoption.

Powers and Abilities

Peach apparently has the ability to use fire flowers, tanooki suits, star men, etcetera just like Mario and Luigi, which makes you wonder how she couldn't protect herself the number of times she's been kidnapped which makes it even more pointless (derp).


"Thanks to you two, I can safely rule the Mushroom Kingdom. Freed from the terrible Koopaling Klan."
– Peach promising to keep MK safe after being saved nope
"And my thanks... to you too."
– Peach breaking the fourth wall
– Peach tasting something, and it's not a cake
– Peach singins a hellish song even worse than ear rape
"Let's Go!"
– Peach demanding to go shopping




  • After her fourth kidnapping, Mario had a dream in which she was actually useful for a change. This dream is essentially a rip-off of a Japanese game Donkey Donkey Picnic.
  • She was also shot by Mario for kissing Luigi for too long, she was clinically dead for 12 minutes and was revived by Mario so she can keep making Spaghetti for him.
  • She dyed her hair red during the events of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!.


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WarpMushroom KingdomWarp
Places Luigi's Mansion | Bowser's Castle | Gloomy Manor | Haunted Towers | Soda Lake | Forest of Illusion

Mario (Fat Mario) | Luigi | Mama Luigi (Gay Luigi) (MLG Luigi) (Emo Luigi) | Princess Peach | Princess Daisy | Rosalina | Yoshi | Birdo | Wario | Waluigi | Toad |

Koopa Army

Bowser | Bowser Jr. | Magikoopa | Kamek | Larry Koopa | Morton Koopa Jr. | Wendy O. Koopa | Iggy Koopa | Roy Koopa | Lemmy Koopa | Ludwig von Koopa