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Surface Pro 3, the latest version and the only one that actually made any money.

Surface is a tablet created by Bill Gates that has a serious identity crisis. Even though it's a tablet, it REALLY wants to be a laptop so freaking bad. It claims it's a tablet that can replace your laptop, but everyone knows that's impossible (unless you live in Star Trek). There are 2 versions: There was Windows RT, an IPAD rip-off that sold so poorly even Kindle laughed it's ass off and there's the Surface Pro line, which is a full-fledged PC in disguise as a tablet running Windows 17,533 that is actually surprisingly really good (never thought we'd say that about ANYTHING Microsoft).


Sales started off being really, REALLY poor even though unlike an iPad, you can actually DO something with it other than just watch movies and play Fruit Ninja all day. What the hell is wrong with people at the time? Scientists interviewed some fat asshole to find out why sales were so poor, and he responded by saying:

"If it ain't Apple, it SUCKS!"

However, hope finally came about by the third try, Surface Pro 3, when people actually began to grow a brain and sales starting picking up quite a bit. Not as much as iPads, but it was getting an audience. Sometime later on May 3rd, 2015, Microsoft also started to grow a brain, because they released the Surface 3, the first non-pro Surface to run full Windows. Because, really, who would want a Windows that can't run regular programs? Someone who hates himself, that's who.