The Krusty Krab (not to be confused with its damn counterparts Rusty Krap and The Krab Krusty) is one of several weird-shaped buildings in Bikini Bottom. It is shaped like a giant crab trap which is really ironic since it was built by a crab named Mr. Krabs, who used to work for Ronald McDonald, but the clown was drafted into the military, joined the Illuminati, and kept trying to turn Krabs into a crab cake. Weegee worshipers have been known to perform rituals in the bathroom.
Mr. Krabs retreated into the depths of the pacific ocean within the safe havens of Bikini Bottom but desperately missed the fast food business and built an underwater version of McDonalds which he named the Krusty Krab, after himself. Sadly, the trauma of being chased all the time by McDonalds permanently impaired his ability to cook, and so he hired a local grouch who lived inside a giant stone tiki named Squidward Tentacles to man the grill.
Nazis between us
However, Squidward was demoted to cashier when a Nazi by the name of SpongeBob SquarePants came to the Krusty Krab and demanded a job or else he would send a telegram to Hitler to level the place with Over 9000 bombs. Strangely, after getting the job, SpongeBob stopped being a Nazi, making Hitler furious and causing him to send a German spy who everyone called Plankton to set up a fortress known as the Cum Bucket to get revenge on SpongeBob for betraying Adolf Hitler. The Krusty Krab has always pushed back Plankton's armies, but they always grow stronger because each day Plankton gets hundreds of new soldiers by brainwashing them with Hitler's book, Mein Kampf.
To this day, the Krusty Krab is under constant attack by Plankton and his Nazi henchmen and later by Mr Porter from Adventure Cave as Plankton is in pursuit of a mysterious formula for some sort of secret chemical serum that Plankton claims will allow him to create mutants powerful enough to obliterate the Krusty Krab and pulverize SpongeBob. So far, Plankton has been able to obtain a small portion of said formula as recently he has been using chemical warfare against the Krusty Krab, but the war continues over the secret formula...
The Dark Day
On a dark day, Grimlock a dinobot from Cybertron had problems with his restaurant and "ate at Grimlock's" and managed to steal the secret formula thanks to a plan perfectly planned. The plan was simple, he disguised like an employee of the restaurant and won the trust of Mr. Krabs. Later, he distracted all the employees ate The Krusty Krab crashing a plane against the restaurant and to make it appear that it was perpetrated by Krab Krusty. Mr. Krabs was furious when he knew about Grimlock's plan, but he managed to get a copy from the secret formula. However, Plankton was more furious realizing that someone was better than him, he managed to steal the secret formula. Plankton's dreams were destroyed and decided to not attack the Krusty Krab anymore.
- Mr. Krabs
- Spongebob Squarepants
- Squidward Tentacles
- Mario Head
- Patrick Star (Fired)
- Fuzzy Acorns (Deceased)
- Bubble Bass (Fired)
- Michael Bay (Fired for TMNT)
- Lucus Checkulivaski (Fired for the Omen remake)
- Undercover Weegee worshiper
- Witch Doctor (Fired)
What food do they have here?
The things they sell here are these GODDA** AWFUL KRAPPY PATTIES!!!!!!!!! Of course, these crap are filled with You's d***, but these crap have a f***ed-up sauce which can make stuff taste good but I can't tell cuz it's a secret (Secret Formula, DUH!). They even sell some soda filled with the mucus and saliva from SpongeBob, Patrick, and even You. There are also some Coral Bits which aren't coral bits at all. They're just some s*** covered with solidified Ebola Cola. They also sell Krappy Dogs that are made out of Spingebill's s***. There is also Krappy Pizza that is made out of regular pizza ingredients filled with Lotsa Spaghetti and some stuff.
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Due to swuidward's personal fetishes, most food products go straight to the customer's thighs. Then they blow up...
- "OH YEAY MR. KRABS!"
- "F*** YOU BIKINI BOTTOM! IF YOU'RE DUMB ENOUGH TO BUY A BURGER THIS WEEKEND, YOU RE ENOUGH OF A F*** TO GO TO THE KRUSTY KRAB!"
- "THE MOBEY IS ALWAYS RIGHT!"