The Tattletale Strangler was a vicious sociopathic rapist murderer and notorious Italian-American mobster who was known for strangling FBI informants, hence his name. His crime family ran Bikini Bottom for decades. He was also a notorious street fighter, murderer and bank robber, as well as an infamous prison gang leader in Afghanistan.
The Tattletale Strangler was born sometimes in the 1960's to Italian parents. He was raised in Philadelphia. His father was affiliated with the Italian Mafia and when the strangler was 8, he was arrested for life. The strangler grew up without a father, and instead found solace in the popular T.V. show "Shat." Shat glorified sex, violence and drugs to children. As a result, the Strangler grew up knowing how to screw hoes and snort dope. Unfortunately, Shat was canceled after season 5 after too many parents complained. The Strangler consequently grew frustrated at the world and decided he wanted to join the Mafia. He went on the official Mafia website and learned they were holding try-outs. He got in after he successfully robbed an orphanage.
The Strangler worked as a hitman first. He brutally intimidated many store owners. When he turned 30, he became a Made-Man after he strangled Lucciano, who turned out to be an FBI informant. The Strangler and the crime family he worked for expanded their territory over most of Bikini Bottom. His boss, deciding to engage himself in the drug trade, began getting drugs manufactured from Squidward.
The Strangler at one point met a person named Spongebob who turned him in. The Strangler threatened to kill him but Spongebob went into witness protection. After two months in jail, the Strangler was bailed out. While in jail, the Strangler learned that to survive prison you have to release your homosexual urges.
When they got into a disagreement over their partnership, Squidward and the Mafia went to war. Squidward got Old Man Jenkins to suicide bomb himself which killed the boss. After this, most of the other members of the family were arrested. The Strangler fled to Afghanistan, where he became a famed street fighter and bank robber. This is also where he trained Amir to do rock and roll.
Jail Time and Relationship with Assef
The Strangler was arrested when he was caught publicly masturbating. In jail, to survive, he had to learn to molest people. He molested somewhere between 800 and 1,200 inmates during his time in jail. He also was in charge of a powerful prison-gang. While in jail, he met Assef, a deranged gay pedophile. The Strangler tried to rape him and failed, and so Assef shaved his moustache and then proceeded to rape several other inmates. The Strangler vowed to avenge his moustache.
When Spiderus invaded Afghanistan, all the inmates were released. The Strangler, still mourning his moustache, became a drug addict. He spent God-knows how much time in a whore house, dri nking and snorting crack. Finally, he attempted to give up alcohol and drugs, and for a few years, he went straight. He founded a petting zoo and worked for Spiderus's government. Then when Tommy Wiseau invaded Afghanistan, Spiderus and his government were toppled, and the Strangler relapsed into his drug addiction.
One day, he found himself incredibly high on cocaine, but realized that his former student Amir was in trouble because Assef was killing him. Knowing he needed to save Amir, and also he would finally get revenge on Assef for shaving his moustache, the Strangler went to the building where Assef was killing Amir and kicked Assef in the face, beat the shit out of him, then butt-raped him.
Assef hated getting raped, but two developed a homosexual relationship anyway. The two rented an apartment and had lots of gay sex over the next few months. Eventually, the Strangler got bored so he divorced him. The Strangler then went off and got high for the night.
Return to Bikini Bottom.
The Strangler returned to Bikini Bottom for the first time in years to find that nobody cared about him anymore because all the mafia fish had been kicked out and now Bikini Bottom was safe. The Strangler got married after he got a girl pregnant, and they had several kids. The Strangler decided to ally with Michael De Santa to do a heist, but Michael betrayed him and left the Strangler to get caught and thrown in jail.
Jail Time (Again)
The Strangler stayed in prison for the next several years. He raped many other men, including I.M. Meen and Rocko. He formed a prison gang alongside Fleece Johnson and Puyi, and the three of them raped lots of other men.
Release and Death
The Strangler, Fleece Johnson and Puyi were eventually released after all the prisoners died of AIDS. The three decided to do a heist at the top of the Shanghai tower and because they all could gain from it (The Strangler could become rich, Fleece Johnson would go back to jail and continue to rape people, and Puyi could become Emperor of China again.) The three traveled to Shanghai, bought to tickets to the Shangai Tower and tried to do their heist, but after arriving at the top they found out that Chinese soldiers were waiting for them. The soldiers opened fire, killing Puyi and critically injuring Fleece Johnson. The Strangler escaped and jumped through the window to land on the balcony, but then realized there was no balcony and fell to his death.
After his death, the Strangler went up before God and the judge, who listed out his crimes.
- Killings dozens of people
- Raping hundreds of people
- Robbing stores
- Robbing Orphans
- Being in a relationship with Assef
- Strangling Thousands of Innocent People
As punishment, the Strangler was cast down to hell and sentenced to be strangled for all eternity.
Current Life in Hell
The Strangler continues to live out his punishment of being strangled constantly, although he also occasionally has gay sex with other people in hell.
- Strangling People
- Raping Assef
- Robbing Banks
- His Moustache
- FBI Informants
- The Cops
- The Booty Warrior
- The FBI