Toad's Wintry Willies
Ratty and Mole venture to Tesco's where things are not as they seem, meanwhile Toad is having an adventure of his own.
In the beginning of the poop, Mole, having just lost a game of checkers to his nephew leaves his burrow to meet up with Rat. On the river, the two boat to Toad’s house. After complementing his rear, the finest on the whole river, Rat offers him to join them. Toad expresses his distaste for boating, so Rat and Mole leave him home. Before noticing that they left and calling them bastards, Toad states that he has discovered the real thing.
As Mole and Rat boat some more, Rat is eaten by the great white shark. After a flash of the color bar screen, he is back in the boat with Mole then they come across Tesco, which Rat has strong opinions against and never wants to step foot in one. However, Mole wants to go and a few moments later, they are among the shoppers of Tesco.
Rat is seduced by the many wholesales the store offers and he and Mole go on a rapid shopping spree. In the meats section, Thomas the Tank Engine wants to buy some fish, but The Fish Controller (Sir Topham Hatt) tells him, "I'm sorry, Thomas. Engines don't eat fish." Thomas still wants to buy the fish, but The Fish Controller refuses to let him. Thomas just says, "Right. I"LL SHOW YOU!" And he begins wolfing down the fish on display one after the other, including a Wario Trout then The Fish Controller calls for the guard. When the guard comes, he yells, "Oi, you!" And he tasers Thomas. He and another guard then drag Thomas out of the store.
Meanwhile, Mole and Rat continue to shop as Rat takes an interest in some Shrek brand onion sauce. Mole, however is disgusted with it and breaks it. Then, from the dark depths of the shelves, the Loaf Bloke shows up. Rat shows up in time to see it retreat, but not before it tells Mole what he has done has planted a seed of evil within himself. Rat sees fit to pack up at this time.
On their way to the checkout, Rat and Mole are intercepted by Mario who claims that they have his cart. After Rat begs his pardon, Mario realizes that it is in fact not his cart. Michael Rosen then checks out Rat and Mole's groceries.
Elsewhere, the real thing that Toad has discovered is air travel. He and a pilot fly around the woods, colliding with and killing former British Independence Party leader Nigel Farage and creating a disturbance with the other animals of the woods. The pilot suddenly needs to use the bathroom. Upset by this, he and Toad return to Toad Hall.
After a lengthy bathroom session, the pilot emerges in time to see Shrek pass by. Toad is indifferent about the ogre and they resume their flight. Seconds later, the pilot needs to poop again. Toad screams in agony as they return to his house again. Tired of the constant bathroom breaks, Toad beats the pilot to death.
Through the window of a neighboring estate, Toad sees women at a dance party which gets him aroused. Sometime after, he is in the master bedroom of the estate having sex with a woman from the party. The estate‘s butler Prendergast arrives and tells Toad that he can’t have sex in there. Toad bickers with him, arguing that he is the most horny fellow in England. Prendergast leaves to tell the Lord of the estate, but Toad gives him a bribe in the form of a Ribena juice box. Prendergast accepts it.
Later, Toad has crash-landed into a green house that is revealed to belong to the magistrate who recognizes him as the “infamous toe”. Toad is then taken into custody on the spot.
Word comes around to Badger, Rat and Mole that Toad is in jail and awaiting trial. In need of a plan, Mole suggests that he would become a sumo wrestler and fight John Cena. Rat shuts this down at once. Instead, it is arranged that Toad would receive a takeaway in court from Mr. Banks himself.
At the trial, Toad is written up on the charges of having a very hot cock and theft of a Rogue One DVD. Toad rebuttles that he is Jafar and urges the court to do their worst, horrifying Mr. Bumble. Before the sentencing, Mr. Banks shows up with pizza. What followed is a song number about how British Toads require pizza and always will. The head judge, wanting to get his hands on some of that pizza releases Toad to mixed reception.
Reunited with Rat and Mole, Toad proceeds to get high. Mole snorts a rail of coke and trips out while Toad hits a bong. Rat, in his own stupor hallucinates that he is called by Charles Laughton the moon. Rat is then halo dropped into Charles Laughton's mouth.
Elsewhere, Badger is strolling around the fields when he hears music. He follows it to a spot by the river where Rat, Mole, Toad and Otter are congregating as they smoke weed. Rat encourages Badger to join them, but Badger refuses. He then returns to his house to find that someone drew the letter T and a penis on it, causing his suspicion to cast on Toad.
- Thomas the Tank Engine
- Wario Trout
- The Fat Controller
- Wallace (Cameo)
- The Pink Panther (Cameo)
- Loaf Bloke
- King Harkinian (Cameo)
- Patrick Star (Cameo)
- Michael Rosen
- Nigel Farage
- Genie (Time card only)
- Commissioner of Police
- Chief Judge
- Mr. Bumble
- Mr. Banks.
- Patrick has no speaking lines due to Lukeman being dead.
- The Willows in Winter
- The Wind in the Willows (1995)