YouTube Poop Wiki

Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh (usually known as "Pooh" for short, which would probably make him a great mascot for this wiki) is a character who possibly originated from the mind of A. A. Milne. He is likely most well-known for being voiced by the amazingly talented Jim Cummings in Disney cartoons. He is an anthropomorphic bear, but he is (somewhat) cute, unlike the super evil Freddy Fazbear. He has an unnatural obsession with honey (which is erroneously spelled "hunny"), but at least it's real honey and not pure corn syrup. The relatives he meets in the adventures are Baloo and Yogi Bear. None of which stops him from being considered a fat virgin and unfavorably compared to the raving love master Big Bird.

He's not used in a lot of YouTube Poops, but that didn't stop someone at the YouTube Poop wiki from creating this page he also stars in Pooh's Adventures, the eye-bleaching series.

Biography

Pooh's date of creation is unknown, but some scientists theorize that he is almost as old as the universe itself. These scientists, however, are hacks because their main source of evidence is a black-and-white picture of A.A. Milne they found on Google, but we all know that the Earth could initially only be photographed in black and white due to technical restrictions and not because it actually was black-and-white (albeit the wood age was in sepia-tone). It is, however, safe to assume he's been around for a full century, and it can be assumed that he's been the same age since his origins, much like Oscar the Grouch.

Pooh lives in the Hundred Acre woods, which does not necessarily consist of exactly one hundred acres, but that's beside the point. He mostly just goes dicking around in the woods and making unnatural noises. He likes to harrass bees (but not in a sexual way) in order to obtain more honey for his addiction. He is also the Vice President of the Hundred Acre Woods as his surprisingly unlimited source of income keeps the entire economy afloat, albeit Pooh still has to take orders from that cheating bastard Christopher Robin (albeit he's not as bad as Chris Thorndyke).

Relationships

Tigger––Pooh serves as Tigger's bottom bitch due to machinations on the latter's end, most of which involve drugged honey and addictive pot. He is often forced to prostitute himself to numerous autistic "creators" of the many Pooh's Adventures. The plan for Tigger to rename the place to the 100 Acre Hood is not commonly known in the Hundred Acre Wood except for Pooh, in which he had rolled over to because of Tigger wearing the literal and metaphorical pants in the relationship.

Piglet––Pooh and Piglet have an odd relationship, albeit it's not a sexual relationship as that would be too predictable. Piglet, who has the power of regeneration, has the tendency to annoy Pooh with all sorts of dumb ideas for iPhone apps and how they could go wrong. When this happens in the daytime, Pooh simply shrugs it off as Piglet being a "silly bastard," but when it's one in the morning, Pooh decides he's had enough and gets his shotgun to put an end to Piglet's annoying habit, only to forget about it the next day when Piglet regenerates.

Rabbit (not to be confused with Dr. Rabbit)––Pooh is such a greedy bastard that he buys every single one of Rabbit's crops that does not sell, thus inflating the Hundred Acre Woods's GDP or something like that. Rabbit is more than happy to help Pooh with his eating disorder because he is still convinced that Pooh used to suffer from anorexia nervosa.

Eye-Ore is a poor miserable bastard with no place to call home, yet he continues to try to build a house out of sticks hoping it'll be enough to end his depression, which is certainly not okay. There's no sugar-coating it either; Eye-Ore is just straight-up homeless. Nevertheless, Pooh still fucks around with Eye-Ore's house of stick, but he still helps Eye-Ore stick his tail back on every once in a while.

Gallery

Trivia

  • Pooh once played Sonic the Fighters purely because he heard about the secret character Honey the Cat, which proves he's some kind of moron.
  • According to a shit load of English textbooks, a singular possessive noun should always end in the letter s and not an apostrophe, so anyone who wants to change the article to say "woods' economy" can suck on that.
  • Winnie the Pooh was named after Winnipeg, the former capital of Manitoba.
  • He Appears In ALF Intro From the 12th Episode of FART.
  • He appeared in several recruitment videos for US Military, marching to war against America's enemies in his pyjamas.